maybe We are just Ordinary People
“Everything is jello and pudding with you dad, you don’t see anything”
There’s something to be said here about the role of women. A mother is grieving in her own way. She needs to escape the terrible reality she is in. But the men around her expect her to preform to their standards. They need to control how she grieves and how it makes them feel. Now that one brother is dead (the elder and favored one at that) the other brother wants to be uplifted to that place. Her husband wants her to be more attentive and more of a perfect woman than ever before. She ultimately cannot live up to their expectations so she is outcasted completely.
And this is not to paint her as wholly sympathetic or as the victim because she is an antagonist in her own right. It’s clear to the audience that she is uncomfortable in her second son’s presence. She is not just withdrawn, now she is neglectful. The established relationship between Bucky and his mother seems to be that where they shared more displays of physical affection and a little would spill over onto Con. So now that he is absent it seems like she is giving Con the cold shoulder. And with him being suicidal this is most likely her trying to shield herself from more hurt.
However, that has then turned into the only attention he gets from his mother being negative. She expresses her displeasure with him and his choices openly and frequently. Of course he thinks she hates him. As a viewer it feels like every time they are on screen together the interaction is going to be filled with vitriol. It is a suffocating presence. One that obviously affects her and her son. By being so wrapped up in what she is going through she fails to see what she is putting others through.
This situation is a lose-lose for her. Either she compromises her own feelings and way of grieving in order to better serve her son, or she prioritizes her grief and leaves her family to deal on their own. Ultimately we know which path she takes (or is chosen for her - depending on how you look at it).
Conrad treating his best friend the way his mom treats him…